I was going through people's comments on Stella's blog when this idea hit me.
You know,i have been on that blog for years and i know many people and the emotions behind their comments.
Ok,let us call bvs there one large family made up of our mum,siblings,cousins,then the eccentric distant relatives. So,let me do this. Let me fix each bv where he/she fits most(judging their kind of person from each person's comment).
1. Queen and boss of this blog: She is that sibling everybody fears because of her caustic tongue. She does not care if you are dying. She is brutal with her words. "If you dey die die,i don talk my own",summarises her. She will of course,tell you the truth.
2. JAMES:He is that eccentric relative that sits at a spot and says what he wants to say. Unfortunately,every topic of discourse ends with sex talk. For example,James,how do you see the current inflation in the country?. James reply will go like this, Hmmm,everything is costly now o. Food,fuel,clothes everything. Infact,it shows we all
gbensh skin to skin and even pour everything inside. But ,me James,i can go five
times before dawn,inflation or no inflation.
3.CHIZOBA: You want war or peace,choose one. That is what Chizoba embodies,to me o. She has both at her fingertips.
4.IPHIE DEARIE: Calm,sensible and peace loving. She is the one that will want to calm the fighter of the family down. This type sabi get sense,infact over sense sef.
5.MARTINS ABOY: Kai. This is that son that knows everyone's password,downloads games and apps to your devices without your knowledge,fills your gallery with his pictures,downloads all types of music and even finishes your megabyte. Then when you want to scold him,he will start smiling his dimpled smile because he knows you love seeing his dimple.
6.MR BAMIDELE: He is that distant relative that spoils your name,then comes to your face and even gets to tell you bad things about another relative. Every home has this guy . He has his good sides too.
7.OKIJA WIFE: Chei. She is that sibling that represents the family in a quarreling arena. Her vocabulary is rich with unheard of curse words. If you offend anyone in the family,she will fight for that person. She will cuss you,run after you cussing and makes sure you cry or run into a safe place before she leaves you.
8.QUIKSILVER: She is that little girl that talks about everything. That daughter wey no dey fear adults. Eg See that man's trousers. Baggy sef. It does not even fit his flat nyash.
9.SUNSHINE:In a family,there is this sibling that has no fear. She talks to you while looking you in the eye. Then you say to her,I will slap you o. Guess her answer,it will be "Slap me na,u no dey fear,slap na. Oh you cant slap again,slap na. Msheeew,rubbish,see you,slapper. Etc.
10. ALLOY: Calm,sweet,peaceful and kind hearted cousin. He will do anyone's job so that that person will not be flogged.
11. KEHINDE AKE: this is that cousin that teaches you how to toast a girl,how to make her feel good and when to use slow or fast motion when she finally agrees to visit you. He will of course help you write that love letter to your "target". You know what,the worst mistake you'll make is taking him along on your first date because the lady will fall in love with his shy,sweet smile.
12.YOMI: Oluyomi is that easy going older sis that takes every insult with these words,Na una sabi". She is calm and loves her siblings deeply.
13. XP: She is that sister that knows everyone. Unfortunately for the family,she knows all the family secrets and some more sef. In the Estate where the family lives,everyone knows her and she knows them too. Again,if not for her,we will not know what's happening.
14. CHY EXOTIC: I can't wash these clothes o,i just did my nails. Lol. Let it dry I will try. She loves life and dares to live it.
15. FLORA: Calm,submissive, nice but easily scared.
16. ANONYMOUS : Blunt,wicked,brutal,lying,boastful,vain,empty,horny,sexy,very rich,very fashionable,wonder woman. That is anon Level One.
17. ANONYMOUS 2: Extremely wealthy,well connected,dinner with Governors,tight p,very huge d and can go for ten rounds in an hour.
18.CHYADA JESUS: she is that sibling that does no wrong. Everybody loves her.
19. EMJAY: She annoys other siblings and when they join hands to cuss her out,she puts on her earpiece to listen to music and also shut them out.
20. SOMADINA: Nice,young,sweet and everyone's darling. He is a bit stubborn and does not like being sent to buy cigarettes and cds.
21. ED DREAMZ: Chei. This is that little brother that knows everybody's house. You will be surprised at the number of houses he has visited. He is calm though,does not cuss when you offend him and always feels he is where he is not supposed to be.