Tuesday, 31 January 2017

Why I date only Yoruba men.....Joy Isi Bewaji

I came across this post on Facebook and I have been laughing ever since. Read and laugh with me. Oh Joy. 
This is a lighthearted post (but I'm speaking to Nigerians, so...)
I don't date Igbo men. I am hooked on yoruba love. It is not spectacular by any means, but it's the love I understand or probably even like.
Yoruba love comes in small special doses. It is the closest to western love.
My kind of beauty appeals to Yoruba men. I think. Whatever.
They like me. And I like them too *files nails*
When I was in my 20s, dating a yoruba guy. We were at a restaurant where an Igbo man slapped a waitress. Why?
He said she was rude to his wife.
So bloody what? We wondered.
It was my yoruba date who got up to defend the waitress.
"If she was so rude, then you should report to the manager, not slap her. Where do you think you are? Onitsha market?!" My date argued.
Twice I have witnessed Igbo men slap helpless women. More than ten times I have seen Igbo men settle a simple matter with blows to the head of another man.
For a woman in her 20s, it was frightening to watch.
The ones who bragged a lot about wealth in the 90s were Igbo men. Babangida had legitimatised 419 and these brothers came into neighbourhoods in their brand new Daewoo racer cars. Making loud noises. Corrupting young girls with wealth that had no home training.
They matched their shoes with the colour of their cars. Their belts with the colour of a girlfriend's blouse. They played loud music and tortured everyone with it.
If you weren't their kind of woman, you were dust, nothing.
Women bleached because they demanded a certain kind of beauty.
When I visited open markets with friends, Igbo men grabbed arms, patted women's buttocks without permission, brushed their hands on women's breasts.
It was all so shocking to me as a growing woman.
When I went to the club for the first time, I went with, of course, a yoruba date... we were seated at a corner while I drank my Malt jejely. He didn't force me to have alcohol, didn't even think it was an issue. But a month later, when I was hanging out with a friend and her Igbo date at a regular bar... the man had mocked my request for Malt.
"But you are not a baby nah," and he laughed. I hated him instantly.
So I just realised as a grown woman a few years later... that I was unattracted to Igbo men.
Of course these issues are no longer exclusive to only one tribe anymore. It is thinly spread across the 300+ ethnic groups in Nigeria. But I am already formed with things I witnessed in my early 20s.

As I mentioned, it is a lighthearted post. Nothing to be taken seriously.
I wrote this only because my mum teases me constantly about dating only yoruba men.
"You and yoruba men sef! Yoruba men wey dey tire for love quick. Date Igbo man abeg. E go love you scatter. Carry your matter for head. Pose with you everywhere. No waste this your beauty wey dey shine as you dey grow older on top yoruba man again. Dem no gather better confidence. Yoruba love dey confused. Dem nor get confidence like Igbo love."
My mum is Igbo. So you can understand her PR on this matter. Lol!
My biggest issue with relationship is humiliation. It seemed, back then, that Igbo men humiliated exes too quickly. But now we know every tribe scores high on the humiliation sheet.
I can never understand humiliation or mockery in matters of love.

And back then, with the stories we heard... Igbo men had trophies for their evil tongue.
"Ugly black shit. You nor even fine. Monkey!" That is after he would have brushed his arm on your breasts while you walk through a store, and you hit it off. Yet he looked like a sacrifice rejected by the gods, but his mouth is sharp.
Those things shocked me back then.
When we were done shopping and told we were ugly, we would return to our yoruba boyfriends who praised our black beauty.
*PS: This is just one woman's experience with a certain tribe in her maturing years. It is not bigotry. So save me your badly-written incomprehensible subs.


  1. I disagree to an extent because the Ibos I have met are the opposite of what the young lady enumerated.

    1. It is a lighthearted post na.

  2. Someone asked me how she can comment. Just click on this box,type in your comment. Click on Comment as'then choose any of the options. and click on Publish. That's all.

  3. how are we sure she is an igbo girl,what is joy? as a name,and isiwaji is a yoruba name and she said she not married?,am thinking this is just another way of yorubas competing with igbo

    1. I don't know her tribe but as she said,her mum is Igbo.

  4. Let me goan look for her on fb

  5. Let me goan look for her on fb

  6. Guys... relax. It is a light-hearted post. Kam dan. Ndi igbo ga di alright... eventually.

  7. Going with my mum to Onitsha Main Market when I was younger, and possibly would now, put a dread in me that made me nervous. All that she wrote about those/these "Igbo store boys" brushing a woman's, or girl's, body are true. And calling you petty but hurtful names when you rebuked them? That too was/is true.
    Another true fact would be that many Igbo men are braggarts. They brag about their wealth, their sexual capabilities and all-what-nots.
    My thinking is she has a right to choose whatever tribe to date or marry from.
    I know someone else who's avoiding marry from the Igboland... and she's Igbo.

    It's all about taste and choice.